The Rap Sheet - Ultimate Velocity Wrestling 6/11/2K6
The Rap Sheet - from the Mad Conservative
Ultimate Velocity Wrestling - Exodus
6/11/2K6 Sherman, IL

Speeding toward disaster...

I have been so busy lately that I really haven't had the time nor the will to write any more rap sheets. I just go to the shows with the recorder and notebook and take the notes, but free time just ain't there for what I want to do with it. Biggest hangup is transcription of the tapes, which are about two hours long, so that's what's the most time consuming part of it. So with work being so busy I'm just sapped of energy and thus I want to do something entertaining instead of work. This show was short, and the negative buzz has been so great lately I went ahead and did a quick write up. I'll see about getting other shows written up when I feel like it.

Pay a visit to the St. Louis Wrestling Community at http://stlwrestling.livejournal.com

Well this is my first time at the Sherman Athletic Club. For all the second hand info on the last show being a complete disorganized mess, it didn't appear to be a mess this time. There certainly are people who did not want to continue with this organization after what went down last time, where the editor of the newspaper I write for walked out of UVW after a certain people joined the organization. UVW has a brand new ring, and it looks pretty nice. There has been a problem of people running around town removing flyers, to which I say who in the world spends their time and gas doing that? If they aren't hanging flyers for their own fed then they're total losers. The talent that is here are a bunch of guys from Peoria associated with some group called NXW which I've never heard of. Apparently these are people who didn't want to join NGW, or else couldn't cut it in NGW. They claim they are forming a new organization in Peoria called Illini Championship Wrestling. Guess NGW is gonna have a little competition. ICW has been referred to Peoria's version of 3CW, yeah I can see why someone could call it that. Others call them backyard wrestlers.

Benjamin Styles begins by running through the lineup. The guy who's running sound at the moment ain't getting the music to play. I fix it, since he unwhittingly had it on mute. Kandi Deluxe comes out with a few big guys. Kandi says he had half ownership of the fed and thinks everything is going to hades. Shoot statement not meant to be one? He says Illini Championship Wrestling is taking over. Benjamin Styles calls Kandi a has been. Kandi says Styles ain't needed and they corner him, but Kaval and a few others come out to run them off. Styles brings out Billy Reno. Reno says if they aren't wrestling or at the commentatores booth they need to leave. Reno apparently now owns the other half of the fed. I wonder what the southsiders are gonna think of that. In the process he deems a couple certain matches be put under hardcore rules.

Live from the Sherman Athletic Club. Your commentary team consists of myself, Kandi Deluxe & the "new owner of UVW" Billy Reno. I am emceeing the show since I was going to come watch anyway and wanted a little announcing experience.

Christian Cane vs. Lil' Poot - What kind of name is "Lil' Poot"? Sounds like a rap artist. Cane is an African-American who has this ICW US title, Poot is white and wears cameo. Lockup, Poot gets a DDT and dropkick. Ugly looking uppercut from Cain and clothesline, spinning sideslam, cartwheel kick in the corner. Poot hits a clothesline to the gut, flying headscissors. Poot splashes Cain in the corner. Cain with a grazing knee lift, springboard splash gets two. Slow snap mare by Cain. Clothesline Poot, running dropkick, springboard crossbody, hurraconranna from the top rope, suplex gets two. Rolling clothesline Cain, fireman's carry into a Diamond Cutter gets the pin. Really green, I wonder who trained these guys.

WINNER: Christian Cane pin -> 6:05 mins. *

Draven vs. Fang - Draven is a big guy with well, goth drawings on his face. Fang is like doing the vampire look, and he's much smaller than Draven. Fang attacks, but gets dropkicked by Draven and pounded. Draven with a clothesline in the corner, side slam. He tumbles to the floor off a missed clothesline and Fang tries to beat him up there. Fang to the top and hits a knee, grabs an ankle lock but Draven just powers out. Fang pounds away but gets shoved off, Fang jumps back on him and hits what looks to be a tornado bulldog. Fang tries a pickup but it's botched, Draven hits a superkick but just grazes him. Powerbomb attempt is reversed into a facebuster and that gets the pin.

WINNER: Fang pin -> 5:40 mins. *½

Kandi Deluxe vs. El Mechanico - Morton Von Prose comes out to referee this. Hip tosses by the Mech, clothesline but misses a dropkick. Kandi with a Boston Crab, Mech rolls him for two, Kandi rolls him for one, but Mech somehow rolls him back up for three for an upset. He gets mugged afterwards.

WINNER: El Mechanico pin -> 2:45 mins. ¼*

Greg Bishop comes out saying he doesn't have an opponent tonight because the other person didn't show up. Some old guy runs out from the back and attacks him, but Bishop takes him out with a DDT in like 18 seconds or so. DUD

Tables Match
Kaval vs. Mike Ushman vs. Izzy PuffnStuff - Izzy has had so many different names lately you need a scorecard to keep track of them all. Ushman I don't think should be in the ring due to the bump on the head he took the prior evening that was feared to be a concussion. But he says he's good to go. *shrug* They engage in chained headlocks to start, Kaval dropkicks Ushman, dumps Izzy, Ushman hits the floor. Izzy gets suplexed into the post. Kaval does a surfboard stomp on Ushman. A bunch of kids are yelling UVW sucks. Kaval hits a suplex and dumps Izzy to the floor again. Clothesline on Ushman, kneedrop. Izzy crawls back in and gets DDT'ed. Ushman is whipped to the corner and clotheslined by Kaval. Kaval tries to powerbomb Ushman but drops him against the corner instead, then gets tossed into the post. Izzy hits a Juvy Driver on Kaval. Izzy hits a stunner. Kaval with a double underhook piledriver on Ushman! Kaval goes up, Ushman has a weapon and hits Kaval with it! The chair is in the middle of the ring. Ushman tries something off the top, maybe a sunset flip but he hits the back of the chair! Kaval is bleeding. Izzy gets his jaw jacked by the chair and a knee dropped on his head by Kaval. Kaval with repeated kneelifts on Ushman. Ushman reverses a whip and hits a body tackle. Ushman hits a shining wizard on Izzy. Kaval walks into a backbody drop into the corner. Izzy hits a Juvy driver on Ushman. Izzy goes for a 217, Kaval intercepts and has a table! Izzy gets put on the table, Ushman goes up, Kaval grabs Ushman and muscle busters him on top of Izzy! It's over!

WINNER: Kaval KO -> 14 mins. **½

Match was okay, but nothing to write home about. Izzy suffers a seperated shoulder and is in considerable pain. Someone gets it put back into place.

Phil Roberts comes out, and just about everyone leaves the building after he calls everyone pathetic humans. He refers to himself as the real talent of UVW. Some kids chant ICW, others chant "I can't wrestle". The whole thing was about whether Phil should be with UVW or ICW. And no one really cares either way at this point. I need a nap. Kandi says Phil's losing all his UVW fans and the only ones left are ICW fans. Someone calls it Ultimate Vomiting Wrestling. Well yeah, I am about to vomit at this promo. Reno calls UVW the ultimate fed in Sherman. Phil wants a third opinion, I say he's talked too long, go away. Phil finally walks, but then comes back and says if you want me make him an offer, he doesn't know who he belongs with. I have some ideas...

I think the whole thing can be summed up in one sentence. Between "I Can't Wrestle" and "Ultimate Vomiting Wrestling" I wish to get a video of NMW's Revolution show badly.

Hardcore Lumberjack Exile Match
Guido DeLucci vs. Midnight Ghost - Ghost is another guy in goth, DeLucci I guess is playing the Italian big guy and he has something called the ICW hardcore belt. How to win this match: Pin or make your opponent tap out, then attempt to flee the building. The lumberjacks are there to prevent you from escaping. Unfortunately these guys just wanna fight each other. And they are wailing away on each other!

Kaval digs a bambo stick into DeLucci's head while Ghost has an ankle lock! Panshot by Fang, someone takes the bell and hits DeLucci...he's mugged on the outside. Someone tries to leave without a pin or submission, sleeper hold on the floor. Too much chaos to call. Guido gets an armbar on Ghost, elbow gets two. Ghost puts on a butterfly armbar. Kaval has a plunger, Red Poison is taking a bad beating on the outside. Legdrop by Guido, camel clutch, Ghost slips out. Poot nails Cane. Poot and Cane fight with a bambo stick. Guido drop toe hold into a chair gets two. One of the lumberjacks try to hit the guys in the ring. Guido takes Ghost outside, knee to the head and he hits the floor. Kandi Deluxe puts a ladder in, laddershot to the gut! Someone threatens to hit Poison with a chair, Reno threatens to suspend them. Ghost gets slammed on the ladder for two. Stranglehold by Ghost, chairshot gets two. As much punishment Poison has taken Phil Roberts is gonna have an easy night. Gut wrench suplex by Guido gets three. Now Guido has to escape, he has the ICW hardcore belt. Seems someone put a table in front of one entrance. Guido decides to try for the side door, Fang gets piledriven on the floor. The fight gets in front of our table, Poot shoves Guido outside and it's over.

WINNER: Guido DeLucci pin -> 14:50 mins. *¼

The fight is still going on around the arena and they won't stop. After so long they finally clear it out. So much was going on you couldn't pay attention to the match itself, thus the rating.

Phil Roberts vs. Red Poison - Well Red Poison is pretty banged up, so I stall a bit doing the plugs and introduce him second. Amanda is the infamous drama queen who has a major obsession with getting revenge against 3CW for kicking her out of the fed because of her obsession with causing drama. And my newspaper editor quit in protest because she did not want her bringing her drama into UVW and Phil supposedly got unprofessional with her. Phil does submission holds which you'd think Poison would power out of even in a weakened state, but doesn't. I even yell at him to DO something, but it looks to me that he's not even TRYING. Phil hits a SPEAR, scorpion death lock, but Phil can't even hold him. Finally Poison does a couple shoulderblocks in the corner but flops down to the mat. Snap mare Phil, goes to the top, but then goes down and does a bottom rope elbow. SLAP WHAM STUNNER gets two, only because the ref stops counting. Phil does something else and the ref counts a pin. Total waste of my time.

WINNER: Phil Roberts submission -> 8:35 mins. DUD

That was absolutely pathetic. "James Austin" runs in to attack Phil, hangs him in the tree of woe, then STANDS on his groin. Kaval yells for him to do it again and give him the Canadian anthem, and get Amanda outta here. Austin says he's gonna kick Phil and he's taking Amanda back. He drags Amanda away. I am just bewildered by this surrealness. Rip Mystic said something about if you wrestle for yourself you're gonna just wrestle in front of your mom. It sure looks like that. Phil wants to talk on the mikes some more, but he's cut off. Thank goodness, he could had driven off whoever was left watching.

UVW Light Heavyweight Championship - Hardcore Match
GAW Tag Champ Morton Von Prose vs. Buzz Rogers - I am still fuming over what I just saw and pace in the ring before announcing these guys. Ironically these two originally came from this NXW group but ended up joining NGW. Obviously both benefitted heavily from that. Axis was the prior UVW Light Heavyweight Champ, but he withdrew from the fed over the absolute nonsense that's been going on lately. Shoulderblock Buzz, clothesline gets zero. Suplex Buzz, chops, but misses a charge. MVP gets a triple pan and blasts him, one of those is spiked! Eblow from the 2nd rope gets two. MVP pounds away, ladder is inserted, Russian leg sweep on the ladder! High knee gets two. Buzz with a ladder shot to the head, slam on the ladder. Buzz second rope elbow misses, but gets the ladder. Head sandwich MVP, clothesline, senton from the 2nd rope gets two. And we have TACKS! MVP with a clothesline into the tacks! To the floor, chairshot, elbows on the floor by Buzz, knee to the back! Chinlock takedown by Buzz, chair is setup in the ring, MVP senton misses! Buzz neckbreaker into the tacks! Piledriver attempt is reversed as MVP does a BeeLee Driver [(c) J-Mac] into the chair and ladder gets the pin and a second title. Match of the night of course, which isn't saying much at this point.

WINNER and NEW CHAMP: Morton Von Prose pin -> **¾

The Verdict: I can see why several GAW and NGW guys broke away from this, cause of the drama and surrealness of everything. The relevation of Jimmy Jacobs coming to town to wrestle Phil Roberts however was so surreal. Truth be told, Jimmy Jacobs really isn't gonna gain anything but bad memories while giving us another interesting blog entry to read coming to Sherman to wrestle Phil Roberts. Just because I ring announce or commentate for a fed doesn't mean I endorse the talent.

Thumbs down.