The Rap Sheet - SLW 3/10/2K7
The Rap Sheet – from the Mad Conservative
Supreme League of Wrestling
3/10/2K7 Mattoon, IL

Wonder why the feds didn’t accept my challenge?

Well if you haven’t noticed, and many probably have not, there’s been a three fed war lately. GAW vs. SLW vs. NBWA. NBWA seems to be the only one with a regular venue, while GAW and SLW are not running very often. Thus, the smaller two feds are trying to overthrow NBWA as the dominant fed of eastern Illinois, all because of a list I wrote on who the most popular feds are in central Illinois. GAW is dead last on it, NBWA is like #2 and SLW is yet to be ranked. My name got invoked somehow, Don Kato wonders why I haven’t shown up at NBWA yet, so I send in a videotape where I make a challenge to all three feds to a drawing contest. Which one of the three feds can draw the highest attendance, gets to run the fed with the lowest attendance for a night. GAW and SLW balked at accepting such a challenge, maybe because NBWA would had won and GAW would had lost, looking at their average attendance figures. GAW of course needs all the help they can get, since they’re having a lot of trouble right now as some of the more recognizable names on the roster have left for good.

The ring announcer runs through the lineup, but John Scott comes out before the first match is announced. John Scott says his army, Dangerous By Design dominates wrestling. Maybe in eastern Illinois, but not all of it. The group comes out but John Scott wants a better ovation. Crowd doesn’t give them any. Issan Hadeev, DaCobra, Drew Thomas and idiot ref Tally Brother come out to the ring. They take forever to get to the ring. John Scott says something about a six-man tag scheduled, but he says it’s not happening. They’re taking the night off. Issan looks for “sexy women” to take home. John Scott then proceeds to intro the newest member of DBD, Hardcore KC! Well he’s back finally. KC stops in front of wannabe wrestler but quit after one bump to the face to chew him out. They try to leave, but Josh Powers comes to the ring, who says he’s one of the newest members of ownership of SLW. John Scott okay they’ll have the six-man but says he’s not wrestling tonight, he’s gonna ref instead. Drew Thomas says something about Josh finding him an opponent, well maybe he should had looked at the program first cause it’s printed there--Ricky Powers. The whole DBD army wants to stay at ringside for the match but the ref sends them all back, EXCEPT KC. I yell don’t let him stay but one of the Tallys decides to get in my face and argue.

Dangerous Drew Thomas vs. Ricky Powers – Okay Jewels Vega went and changed his name to escape the bad vibes from GAW. Haha! Unfortunately, doesn’t look like it is working. Mat wrestling to start, but Drew pounds him and hits a suplex for two. Powers hits a couple clotheslines and Drew bails. Powers hip toss and back drop, Drew with a kneeshot and dumps Powers out. KC with some uppercuts on the floor and tosses him in. Sheesh, I knew it. Drew PUNTS Powers in the groin but only gets two. KC with more choking, but the ref catches him and EJECTS him from ringside. Powers tries a rollup for two, Drew grabs the arm and ropewalks…but botches the headscissors and lands hard on the mat. Drew gets two from it however, tries the superplex…hits it but gets two. Drew pulls out a chain, ref blocks it, Powers rollup and gets the pin.

WINNER: Ricky Powers pin -> 7:10 mins. *¾

KC jumps Powers in the aisle, Drew with a chairshot, RKO on the chair! KC with an ankle lock on Powers and Drew with chairshots, they set up to Pillmanize the leg but a camo masked man shows up to run them off…who’s that? They shake hands afterward.

Gideon Morbid & Black Dragon vs. Forces of Nature - JT Rain & Cyclone – Morbid and Dragon aren’t too friendly it seems. Gideon headbutts Rain, stomps him a bit, but Rain suplexes him. Legdrop Rain gets two. Rain slugs away but Gideon with a headbutt, tag, choke Dragon, suplex gets one. Rain knocks him down and tags Cyclone, double whip trip and elbow. Gideon breaks up a headlock, Dragon with a spinning toe hold, tag Morbid and they make a wish. Gideon with a slam, headbutt on the mat, stomp on the groinCyclone comes back, cartwheel backsplash, but Gideon clotheslines him down. Missed a chance to tag. Dragon in, double suplex, whichever Tally DOES NOT count…but makes the excuse of getting Morbid out. Dragon hits an elbow, Juvy Driver, tag Morbid, second rope STOMP to the groin! Morbid with a clothesline, whip and Cyclone knocks him down, slingshot crossbody to the floor. Rain dives over the top and nearly doesn’t make it over. Yeek. Morbid low blows Rain however, puts Cyclone in, Morbid complains about Dragon not being there…huh? Cyclone rolls him up and gets the pin…but the shoulder was clearly NOT down. Tally the moron counts anyway. Match was messed up.

WINNERS: JT Rain & Cyclone pin -> 8:45 mins. ½*

Morbid yells at Dragon that he was supposed to trust him so he brings out someone he can trust, Morbid’s experiment…The Bear. Out comes a girl, then a LARGE MAN comes out after her…he’s as big as MS Madman! He proceeds to destroy Dragon, Cyclone and Rain.

Elektra Fine vs. Paige Adams – The valets for the Hybrids square off! I’ve never gotten to see Paige wrestle before! And she JUST came back to wrestle after taking a year and a half off for family reasons. Paige dodges the lockups, but Fine grabs her, Paige gets the armbar, Fine cartwheels to reverse, full nelson…Paige takes her down for mat wrestling. Fine gets an armbar, kicks Paige down when she tries for the kip up, until Paige trips her up and sends her to the corner. Fine with a monkeyflip, standing moonsault gets two. Paige with a flapjack, and a half crab. Paige works the leg, Fine is hurting, Paige is gloating. Paige ties the legs and pulls back on the head. Fine pounds the mat a few times…but it’s not a tapout and gets the rope. Fine cartwheel elbow, tries the bulldog but Paige dragon screw legwhips her down. Paige works the leg some more, neck snap, dropkick gets two. Paige works the leg some more but Fine boots her over the top. Fine with a spinkick thru the ropes, hangman’s twist of fate off the apron! Paige recovers and puts Fine back in, they slug it out, Paige with a reverse DDT for two. Paige argues with the ref, Fine with a spinkick, tries something but Paige bulldogs her down. Fine off a whip hits a backbreaker, hooks the legs and a reverse headlock submission and Paige taps! Really good women’s match. Fine’s hurt though, she’s hobbling pretty bad. Paige looked pretty good having not wrestled for so long. Both wrestled better than a lotta guys in this show.

WINNER: Elektra Fine submission -> 11:50 mins. ***¾

Alex Monroe & Wesley Thorton vs. Dewey Dawson & Dexter Schwartz – Haven’t seen Thorton in ages. Dex looks a lot better than the day he debuted. Gilbert Lewis ain’t around tonight. Dewey continues to jump over the top rope in the wrong place. Dex climbs over the top and trips too. Dewey finds Monroe’s shirt and puts it on. Dex stuffs the tie inside his shirt. Dewey checks the ref for weapons, heh. Monroe wants to test strength, but Dewey does some dancing instead, backdrops Monroe, slam, Welsey gets trio’ed too. They proceed to stall until Wesley checks in. Dewey starts rolling around the ring to psyche him out, but Wes wants Dex in. Wesley dropkicks Dex, and chokes him on the mat. Dex gets a clothesline, side elbow, but Wesley hugs the bottom rope until Monroe gets a cheap shot. Wes with a choke, tag Monroe, clothesline gets two. Dex with a small package for two. Monroe with a punt, chop, and tries to choke with the tie…but it comes off! It’s a clip on, heh. Monroe rams him in the corner, tags Wesley. “Girls work better” chant. HA! Wesley tries a rope walk hurraconranna, but lands on the back of his head! Whoops. Dex gets two, double thrusts, double chop, suplex gets two. They slug it out, Wesley tags, sunset flip off the top! Monroe with a senton gets two. Monroe goes for the Razor’s Edge but Dex escapes and hits an enzuigiri. Tags, Dewey takes out the heels, Dewey with the fisherman’s buster on Wesley for the pin. Match was okay but not spectatular.

WINNERS: Dewey Dawson & Dexter Schwartz pin -> 11:25 mins. **

Kenny O’Brien vs. Cecil Cerveza – Basic wrestling to start, as Cecil works the arm until Kenny hits a side suplex. Kenny with a choke with the boot that does NOT contact the chin by six inches, running forearm shot that whiffs him. Come on! Running kick looks to connect this time, running dropkick in the corner gets two, Samoan Drop. Kenny suplex, loses his balance and drops him on the top rope, then just brain busters him from that position for two. “Girls work better” chant rages again, and deservedly so. Kenny goes up but Cecil grabs him by the groin, running dropkick, legdrop, spinning legdrop gets two. Kenny gets a backbreaker off a charge for two. Kenny powerbombs Cecil into the corner, bearhug, Cecil bangs Kenny’s ears, heel kick takes him down. Kenny charges but eats a boot, clothesline Cecil and the ref counts two….and STOPS. No arm raise until after he flashes two. COME ON! The Tally Brother, ugh…what a terrible ref. Cecil grabs Kenny for the reverse spinning neckbreaker and thankfully ends this bad match. Kenny’s ringwork was very exposing and just AWFUL, get back to training. Cecil at least knows how to hit his moves. I’m resisting going into negative stars here.

WINNER: Cecil Cerveza pin -> 6:25 mins. DUD

SLW Tag Team Championship
(c)The Feature Presentation - Eric Ruffington & Blake Steel vs. Jef Harris & Wild Bill – The Rough Riders come out wearing pythons around their necks! My lord! Jake the Snake times two! The RRs put the snakes in a suitcase under the ring announcer table as the Feature Presentation pose in the ring. Ruffington’s waist looks to have some very noticeable flab that he didn’t have a few weeks ago. Ruff and Bill start, but Blake gets in after Ruff takes a shot to the face. Ruff says something about an open palm before grabbing a headlock. Bill ducks a clothesline and Ruff crashes into the rope. RRs hit a knee and spinning neckbreaker for two. Jef torques the arm, tags Bill, double whip, double hip toss. Legdrop/elbow combo gets two. Shoulderblock Bill, tag Jef. Double team atomic drop, and they get punch drunk…double clothesline gets two. Jef with the fameasser gets two. Put some pants on chant rages as Jef hits a clothesline from the second rope for two. Tag Bill, slam, Jef hurraconrannas Bill but Ruff avoids it! Tag Blake, he goes for the sharpshooter but Bill grabs the rope. So Blake dumps him out, pounds him, toss in and gets two. Blake works the leg, but misses a kneedrop, Bill can’t get away and Ruff comes in. Ruff with a suplex, spinning toe hold Ruff, Ruff neck jam between the legs, knee to the face. Blake in, knee to the gut in a double team, Blake dropkicks Bill’s leg, sits on it on the bottom rope. Bill pushes Blake over the top rope, Harris gets in and does a suicide dive into the crowd! That was STUPID. No warning that I saw, and there was a major discussion about the incident after the show cause some people were really upset about it. Ref says there’s no tag and well doesn’t tag Bill while he was in his corner. Ugh, Ruff gets the figure four. Bill gets the rope, Blake works the leg, Bill finally gets away and tags Jef. Crossbody on the FPs, Jef facebuster on Blake, double whip on Ruff, double dropkick, the RRs with a double clothesline over the top. Blake pounds Jef, whip to the corner, Bill clotheslines Blake down. The RRs launch Blake backward! Monroe and Thornton hit the ring, dump Bill, piledrive Bill, ref sees none of this, comes in and counts Blake’s cover for the pin. ARRGH!

WINNERS and STILL CHAMPS: The Feature Presentation pin -> 14:55 mins. **½

It ain’t over, they kick Harris, but Bill goes for the suitcase, the Geek Council hit the ring, Josh Powers comes out calling to break it up. The RRs get the snake out of the case…Josh proceeds to order a four team elimination tag for the titles next show. The RRs come in with the snakes and put them on the FPs! They flee the ring…Dewey says the good guys will win the belts next show.

Triple Threat
Donovan Cain w/ Elektra Fine vs. Jason Lyte w/ Paige Adams vs. Colton Cash – Ummm…aren’t the girls in the wrong corners? I actually thought that was Paige coming out with Donovan with the outfit she was wearing but surprise. This is gonna be surreal. Elektra is limping around, her knee is definitely a bit messed up. Cash takes a seat in the crowd while the Hybrids lock up and mat wrestle. A girls work better chant erupts, which makes Elektra smile. Cash trips up Cain, Lyte bumps into him, Cain shoves Lyte into Cash, rollup for two. Fans get on Cash for NOT being in the match. Cain with a springboard armdrag, dropkick. Lyte bails, Cash attacks Cain, but gets clotheslined. Flying knee, Cain and Cash tie up, Lyte charges but gets tossed over, Cain with a suicide dive on Lyte! Cain with a springboard dropkick on Cash for two. Lyte in, Cash out, knee strikes by Lyte, Cash looks like he’s leaving, Cain whipped to the corner, Lyte uppercut, Cain pulls Lyte off and dropkicks him like a football. Cash pounds on Cain, stretches the arms, Lyte kicks Cain in the head, double whip, Cain dropkicks them both. Lyte hits a spinning side slam for two, Cash objects to the cover, Cash wants to dish more punishment and does a ten second suplex on Cain. Lyte pickup, DVD backbreaker, Cash goes up, slam Lyte, Cash flying legdrop…MISSED! Cain with a flying headscissor on Lyte, enzuigiri…and all three are down. Lyte and Cash conspire, Cash eats a Cain boot, Cain flies off the top and armdrags Lyte. Cash dropkicks Cain though for two. Cash messes with Tally and they get into a spat, Cain gets shoved in the corner, Cash with two hangman’s reverse DDTs and a backcracker. Cash argues with Tally some more, Lyte joins in, Cash chokes Cain. Lyte whips Cain but Cain throws him over the top, Cash charges and hits the floor also, Lyte clotheslines Cain before he can do the suicide, Lyte does it himself on Cash, Cain up but gets kicked in the head. Lyte yells at Cash he should never had trusted him. Okay then. Lyte sets up the superplex, but Cash gets up there with them and sunset flips Lyte off the top, Cain with a double stomp to follow. Cash gets Cain, pedigree is blocked, full nelson Cash, but gets backed in a corner, Lyte enzuigiris Cash, Lyte misses a boot on Cain, Cain kicks him down. Cain goes up, Paige grabs Donovan’s leg, who’s side is she on anyway? Lyte goes up, Elektra chases Paige, Lyte with a backside piledriver from the middle rope and gets the pin. Match seemed a lot slower than I remember. Cain had to be helped out as he was out of it.

WINNER: Jason Lyte pin -> 16:30 mins. **¾

Issan Hadeev, DaCobra, & The Bear vs. Mississippi Madman, Brandon Keith & Aaron Matthews – And Jonathan Scott, who can’t resist being a bad guy, is reffing this match. I can just SMELL the screwjob here. And John Scott has the mike, which the crowd wants him to shut up. Tally is arguing with folks again. John Scott has a briefcase and wants Gideon Morbid to bring the monster out. And here’s the Bear. A “he can’t wrestle” chant erupts. Oh man. Madman comes out, it’s his birthday today. Aaron Matthews gets his own separate entrance. The heels stall like mad, despite how many of them are hanging about ringside. Tally gets in MY face again. I’m sick that kid. Bell FINALLY ring and it’s Madman and Hadeev starting. Geez, there are WAY too many people at ringside, blocking my view. Apparently DaCobra and Matthews want to start instead, but DaCobra tags out, so we have Hadeev and Keith starting. And Tally for some reason heads to the back. Hadeev takes Keith down, and DaCobra gets a shot in, but Keith with a clothesline and more stalling. DaCobra back in and gets a flying headscissors, Aaron tags in and gives DaCobra and Hadeev the move. Bear tags in, Aaron slugs him to no effect, so he tags Madman and it’s a shoving match. Bear gets a surprise dropkick, and Drew Thomas comes to ringside now. Arrgh…too many people around the ring! Hadeev in with stomps and headbutts the crotch area. DaCobra goes up and hits a legdrop from the top for a fast two count. Ugh. Madman hulks up, but Bear slugs him, and the heels pound Madman down. Hadeev works the legs, and the posse yank the leg on the apron. DaCobra headbutt has no effect, Madman hurls him in the air, Aaron in, launch for the headscissors. DaCobra with the wheelbarrow and knocks Aaron over. Aaron with a dropkick, springboard moonsault and someone yanks Aaron off. Drew Thomas gets in a fight with Brandon Keith and it’s a SHOOT! DaCobra with a slam, puts Aaron on the top rope, Tally pulls Thomas away from the area, Aaron to the top, moonsault gets one. Hadeev breaks it up, Hadeev with a backbreaker off a wheelbarrow bulldog attempt. Tag Bear and he gives Aaron the LOUDEST CHOP EVER! Yikes! Bear with a delayed suplex, tag Hadeev, suplex, tag DaCobra, suplex is reversed into a DDT, Keith tagged in. Keith with a clothesline, but DaCobra nails Keith, then the Madman, Thomas with a CHAIRSHOT on Keith! Hadeev atomic drop and spinebuster gets a fast two. Bear rams Keith in the corner, splashes him, clothesline, tag DaCobra, springboard legdrop misses, tag Madman! Chokeslam for DaCobra, Aaron slam, goes up, shooting star press and Drew Thomas pulls Aaron off, and it’s a BRAWL between Keith and Thomas! More people run around ringside, Ricky Powers in a fight with Drew Thomas! Madman goes up, KC jumps IN the ring to pull Hadeev to his corner, Madman misses wide, confusion continues, fight on the outside, Keith gets a DDT on Hadeev, Bear back in, everyone’s fighting outside, Keith tries fighting Bear, Madman throws Hadeev into the chairs, KC gets the briefcase and SMASHES Keith in the head, Bear with an F5 and a very fast three count. Barf. Matthews and Madman run the bad guys out. Overly long…way too many people around the ring, overbooked and just a complete total mess of a match.

WINNERS: The Bear, DaCobra, & Issan Hadeev -> 19:10 mins. *

Madman gets the mike and says he’s sick and tired of DOD. Madman calls out Hadeev and wants any kind of match with them for the SLW title next show. We close out the show here as the heels don’t come out, and Madman and troops run to the back looking for them. Brandon Keith and Drew Thomas weren’t supposed to get in a brawl apparently, making it a SHOOT, Keith was set off by the BK Shannon taunts which was Keith’s original ring name that he didn’t want and quit NBWA as a result, one of the Tally’s broke up the exchange. Big backstage argument after the show regarding this incident and Jef Harris’s suicide dive into the crowd.

The Verdict: When fans where chanting “girls work better”, that was the TRUTH. The girls match was the only thing that stood out on the whole card! The rest of the show didn’t have much, with the main event being a major disappointment, the triple threat being decent and the SLW tag match also decent with a stupid move that could had went a lot worse. The rest is a pass, and a definite big fat thumbs down on the night. SLW has a long ways to go before they can claim to be the dominant fed in eastern Illinois.

Thumbs down.


ADDITION: Well soon after posting this, Chad Tally goes IM'ing me on Myspace in a rage, yelling and screaming about how I "slandered" him and his brother. Since I can't tell them apart, I just changed all references from a specific person to "one of" references. But they insist they're great refs and the WWE was calling them. Yeah once they see their performance if its anything like I've seen it will be one and done. If this is his attitude, he's not gonna go very far in the business...AT ALL.