The Rap Sheet - HPW 5/25/2K7
The Rap Sheet – from the Mad Conservative
Hammerlock Pro Wrestling
5/25/2K7 Stanford, IL

So why’s it so difficult to get people over to this venue?

Well this is the start of the Memorial Day weekend, with gas prices sky high and cops stationed every ten miles on the interstate, kinda forcing people to go slower, with some drivers still driving fast and getting pulled over. I was considering skipping this show cause I thought the lineup was a bit underwhelming. Despite high gas prices at like $3.50 a gallon, I drove up to HPW anyway since I wasn’t gonna be able to see most of them guys for a while. And the Mastermind keeps claiming there will be something so earth shattering that everyone will be talking about it for weeks to come.

I had a heck of a time doing any note taking, as action was fast and furious. I chose to sit in the front row for a brief time, but I thought it was a bit too dangerous with all the toys I’d have to grab up so I moved back one after match two. Tonight is the first round of the HPW tag tournament, looking at the lineup I wasn’t all that thrilled with the contenders, thinking some of the teams that should had been in the tourney were feuding in this fed. Of course we had some subbing going on, as CJ Esparza and Jef Harris weren’t here tonight.

Live from the Church Bar & Grill in Stanford, IL. Doug Devore gives the lineup for the night as the BWA fans go nuts over the names announced, especially Bree. Your ring announcer is Lonesome Bobby Lee, another talent NGW cast away that HPW snatched up. Seems for every talent NGW lets go HPW is picking up. The draw was only 40-50 people, and you have to wonder why this venue isn’t drawing hardly. Could ticket prices have something to do with it at $10 a ticket?

Nick Brubaker & “Axis” William Hatcher vs. Morton Von Prose & Black Dragon – The newest member of the Midwest Mob subs for CJ. MVP & Dragon were using an offensive Japanese sexual term as their team name, which Chicago who already had an axe to grind with HPW over MSPW splitting away just jumped all over this for not being “family friendly”. We ARE at a bar you know. The New Era come out throwing condoms to various people in the crowd as their means of mocking the whole ridiculous argument while promoting “safe sex”. The BWA kids can’t decide who they wanna root for, but Bree claims MVP is like a brother to her. Heh. Axis & MVP start with chain wrestling. MVP with knees into a hammerlock, side suplex gets two. Tag Dragon, axe to the arm, armbar, MVP in, rabbit punch, sits on the back, suplex gets two. Axis with the leg extend jawbreaker, tag Nick who lariats him for two. Brubaker nails the New Era, cradle DDT, tag Axis. Double boot wipes, uppercut, MVP clotheslines Nick down. Blind tag, missile dropkick by Dragon gets two. Dragon suplex gets two. Drop toe hold, tag…double kicks to the head get two. Dragon with a face shot, iron claw…but it’s broken up, Nick with two cradle DDTs in a row get two. Nick with a botched DDT gets two. Lariat on the forehead gets two. Tags, Axis tosses MVP, Juvy Driver by Dragon on Brubaker, forward Russian legsweep, they go up, legdrop by Dragon, swanton bomb by MVP and that wins it.

WINNERS: Morton Von Prose & Black Dragon pin -> 10:20 mins. **½

Issan Hadeev vs. Petey Clark – They trade full nelsons, Petey with a snap mare, hits the trio, Hadeev yanks Petey out and hits an apron legdrop…and they’re in front of me. Toss into the post, suplex gets two. Issan slams him again, elbow…as a magic carpet chant ensues…and Hadeev dumps him in J-Mac’s lap. Hadeev with punches to the jaw, sheesh, them kids are very vocal at him. Now they’re doing the Aladdin theme at him. Clothesline, attempt at a USA chant is cut off from some douchebag fan who protests he’s from Chicago. SO WHAT? Issan kicks him in the back of the head and Petey falls out in front of us. Issan takes Petey into a rail, puts him in, toss spinebuster! Headbutt to the groin as Carley Rae has gotten herself distracted. Hadeev goes up, clothesline, one foot cover, then a legdrop for two. Hadeev with a LOW BLOW! Atomic drop, spinebuster Hadeev gets two. Issan says it’s over, goes up, Petey intercepts and slams him off. Issan slugs Petey and yells he’s nothing, and gets an enzuigiri, flying headscissors, kneelift, Petey goes up and hits a moonsault for the pin.

WINNER: Petey Clark pin -> 11:15 mins. **¾

NBWA Tag Champs Wrestling Redefined – Aaron Matthews & Jason Vendetta vs. Bod Squad - JC Michaels & Kenny O’Brien w/ Dennis Devine – Well there was a worry that Aaron Matthews would have had to sit out the tourney because he banged up his arm at an SLW show, but it was only badly bruised. The Bod Squad makes me wanna cringe. Dennis yells at people as the Squad follows along doing exercises with Wrestling Redefined, and looks bad doing it. Double drop toe holds, dropkick Aaron on Kenny. Tag Vendetta, clothesline gets two and goes to work on the leg. Small package for two, Kenny sits on Jason. Double elbow for two, dump out, Devine tries a figure four on the floor but can’t get it on. Kenny with some hard chops, Jason chops him back, tag Aaron, springboard moonsault gets two. JC charges and splats his partner, he attacks Matthews as it’s gotten crazy. JC with “that’s a wrap”, dumps Matthews for Dennis to choke. The Bods with double teaming, Carley Rae stops counting when she remembers the wrong guy in the ring is making a cover, JC argues, Jason rolls him up and gets the pin.

WINNERS: Wrestling Redefined pin -> 7:15 mins. *¾

Alto the Great vs. Catalyst Cory Carter – I thought the man under the Alto mask quit using the gimmick altogether? Not only that, the long hair is sorely missing. Alto keeps going “YAH!” ensuing the silliness. Alto with armdrags, TripC rams him in the corners, back breaker, snap mare, chinlock, mask yank gets two. Alto with a rollup for two. Escape DDT gets two. TripC eats a boot, double stomp gets two. Crossbody is caught, struggle, Alto fights for a sunset flip but gets sat on and pinned. Didn’t get a whole lot of vintage Alto here.

WINNER: Catalyst Cory Carter pin -> 6:35 mins. *¾

Brett Gakiya comes out to chatter about his title match. He says HPW has some of the best talent around, he says Diego carries a noose and is a strangler. He wonders if he’s gonna strangle someone or choke? Diego comes outta nowhere and attacks Brett! Diego attacks the leg with a hanging figure four and Bobby Lee tries to make the save…and gets KO’ed! Brett tries an enzuigiri but misses, Axis runs Diego off. Diego gets the mike and yells see what happens when you mess with a real man? Doug Devore interjects and says the people here came to see a championship match and cusses out Diego! Devore says since Brett is now injured, he’ll have to defend the belt against Axis! Main event switch, at least they didn’t do it arbitrarily like last time. Bobby Lee gets up and announces the next match.

Dog Collar Match
Blake Steel w/ Nikki Knight vs. Eric Ruffington – This duo would be known as the Feature Presentation elsewhere and would have been great to put in the tag tourney since they’re tag champs in CCW, but they wanted to be arch rivals here and thus this is the big blowoff for the feud. Word of advice to promoters, if you’re gonna have a match with a lotta gore in the lineup, put it on LAST…unless you’re prepared to swap out the canvas with another one. Apparently pinfalls count and they aren’t doing the touch four corners to win rule. Andy Roberts, Drew Thomas and Rizz come out with Blake, but Robbie the Ref orders them all to the back. Good thing, I don’t need to be looking AROUND all these people to see the match. The collar is put on, and Blake gets pulled in. Chain yank to the post Ruff, shot to the head, back. Blake with a choke, uses the post…backbreaker, gut wrench suplex…OUCH! Blake pounds him in the head with the chain…he’s BLADING! Man I hate that. The brawl continues, Blake is sent over the top, Ruffington with a slingshot crossbody to the floor! Ruff slams Blake on the stage, then throws him into the seats! Crap, I have to gather my stuff and run? They go in front of the merchandise table, then a round table in that area and they get looped around it. They go back to the ring thankfully, Blake is tossed over, but hangs on the apron, Ruff comes over and gets neck snapped. Blake comes in, but gets tossed out. Ruff tries to go up, but ends up yanking Blake to the post. And Blake is busted open worse. Ruff opens the cut further by bashing him in the head. This is sick. Feel sorry for who has to wrestle on the mat next. Ruff with a piledriver, Nikki jumps on the apron, Blake with a LOW BLOW and rollup for two. Blake loops the chain over the top and tries to choke, but it’s only up against the chin. Nikki Knight comes in the ring, Ruff hits her in the head…oh stupid. Ruff shouldn’t had worn the sky blue tights tonight. Ruff goes up, Blake tries a hurraconranna but gets caught in a second rope piledriver for the pin. Rizz comes out to carry Nikki to the back. Comment was made that these two shouldn’t be doing this type of match due to inexperience, as both men are just horribly messed up. They go to intermission.

WINNER: Eric Ruffington pin -> 11 mins. ***

GAW Tag Champs Twin City Wrecking Crew – Chuck Ray & Conner Riley vs. Andy Roberts & Drew Thomas w/ Rizz – The WCWC hand out kazoos. Riley and Andy start. Conner with the trio, Andy stomps away, suplex gets two. Tag Drew, kick. The kazoos are blaring. Tag Chuck, suplex, Drew with a rake. Chuck with a fallaway slam, tag Riley. Drew with a rake and works the arm, rope walk legdrop gets two. Andy in, clothesline, elbow gets two. Enzuigiri gets two. Tag Drew, axe to the side gets two. Jumping flatliner by Riley for two. Tags Drew gets tossed, Chuck with a suplex, flying headbutt gets two. Rizz jumps in but gets dumped out, Riley in, side suplex/neckbreaker combo on somebody gets the pin. Everyone’s tooting those kazoos the rest of the night, including myself.

WINNERS: Twin City Wrecking Crew pin -> 9:10 mins. **

Hunter Matthews vs. Gilbert Lewis w/ Dewey Dawson & Omega Mu – Hunter must not dating anyone right now, cause he somehow gets little Carley Rae despite us yelling at her not to do it, to act as a stepstool for him to climb in the ring. Geez Carley WHY did you allow yourself to be so disrespected like that? Slap the punk! Everyone in the crowd promptly chant @$$hole at him for STEPPING ON A GIRL. Dewey is in a sling, but I thought he’s been wrestling Hunter with armdrags, Gilbert with the trio and he bails. Hunter bails and Lewis gives chase…but attacks him on the way in. Rake and rope burn, fistdrop gets two. Suplex, sits on Lewis, but gets kneed. Hunter rams him in the corner, tree of woe, Hunter stands on the groin, axe to the head…but misses the baseball slide and hits the post. Lewis with the whip but they clothesline each other. Slugfest ensues, Lewis lariat, backdrop, spinning neckbreaker gets two. Knee fameasser by Hunter gets two. Lewis feeds him a boot for a two. Rake, piledriver by Hunter gets the pin.

WINNER: Hunter Matthews pin -> 12:10 mins. ***¼

After the match, Hunter engages in unsportsmanlike conduct and attempts to give Gilbert another piledriver, but Dewey tries to come in and he gets taken down…and Petey Clark charges the ring and Hunter flees like a wuss.

The War Pigs w/ Mastermind & Cherry Malone vs. Knight Wagner & Imperio – Bah, I have trouble recognizing Imperio when he’s brought out and once again had to ask who the heck he was, but Issan Hadeev claimed he’s “Power Ranger #2”. Oh thanks. Wagner stands in for Jef Harris, and heh, he looks different from when I’ve seen him last. He’s shaved his face and let his hair down to look more of a babyface. So who are these pigs? Well I’d sure like to utter the names I think they are but I’d be shot for busting them out, so I’ll say the gear worn by the slender one gives him away. The fat pig is not fat enough to be 400 pounds, he’s closer to 300 and shorter than the slender one, so that only leaves a couple people as suspects. Cherry brings her Powerkeg Title along, and well the ho and herpes chants are uttered by the BWA kids. Wagner dropkicks the fat pig, the slender pig locks in an armbar and headbutts the wrist. Chops are levied, dropkick to the head by Wagner. Wagner takes over, tags Imperio. The slender pig knocks Knight off, headbutts on Imperio. Slender pig drops an elbow for two. Clothesline to the chest, the fat pig BIG SPLASH for two! The fat pig puts Imperio on the top rope, the slender pig PUNTS Imperio! The slender pig with a rib breaker for two. Imperio has his chest protector off, the fat pig is whipped into Imperio! SPLAT! Back splash by the slender pig, the fat pig with an axe to the back. Imperio with kicks to the legs, dropkick knocks the fat pig down. The slender pig in with a BOOT, headlock, Imperio elbows out and hits a side kick. Wagner is tagged, spinning heel kick on the slender pig, goes for a backdrop but gets nailed. Slender pig goes for a powerbomb, Wagner sunset flips out for two. The fat pig gets a tag, Imperio runs in but gets thrown out into the front row. The fat pig has Wagner, double chokeslam that folds him in half for the pin!

WINNERS: The War Pigs pin -> 7:45 mins. **

The pigs also engage in unsportsmanlike conduct and beat down both men until MVP & Black Dragon, Conner Riley & Chuck Ray run out to break it up. Doug Devore comes in the ring yelling something at Mastermind and he pulls his coat off as if he’s wanting to fight him.

Bloody Harker Dirge vs. Shawn Santell – Santell is aka Shawn Overton, of the infamous IWAI, thankfully he got himself a real trainer in Truth Martini. Chain wrestling to start, Dirge gets a Samoan Drop. Kick, neckbreaker Dirge. Poke by Shawn, and yanks him outside. Devore comes over and makes the X sign…errr, what happened? Santell pounds him on the floor, puts him in the ring and Dirge is holding his right arm. Shawn goes to a chinlock, headbutts. Dirge gets a shoulderblock, kneedrop for two. Santell eats a boot, Dirge locks in the dirt nap and gets the tapout. Geez, Santell didn’t even try to go for a submission with the arm injury!

WINNER: Bloody Harker Dirge submission -> 8:25 mins. *½

Well we find out how bad he’s hurt, he suffered a severe shoulder dislocation, where his upper arm bone was literally pushed into his upper rib cage and doctors had to pull it back into place. HOW he hurt himself was that he fell between the stage and the ring which I didn’t know there was a big enough gap for that to happen…but it did and Dirge had to bow out from NGW the next night and will be out for a few weeks.

HPW Heavyweight Championship
(c)Diego Corleone vs. Axis – Well double duty for Axis tonight. Diego is on the attack, chopfest, Axis splashes Diego in the corner and he’s hung in the ropes. Double wristlock Axis, ten punch in the corner, clothesline in the corner. Axis teases a dumpout, Diego charges but pulls the top rope down and he goes sailing over. Axis after him but gets LOW BLOWED, toss in, side suplex, choke. Diego with the snap mare and chinlock, suplex, he stomps him on the mat, choke, side elbow. Axis gets a lungblower, trip headbutt to the gut, atomic drop, back clothesline, DDT gets two. Diego blocks a move, tries for a slingshot but can’t get it done, so a punch to the gut…ROCK BOTTOM gets two. Diego KICK WHAM STUNNER…but pulls him up at two?!? Beat him while you got the chance dufus! Diego fetches the rope, Carley Rae takes it away from him, Diego with a fireman’s carry, Axis knees his way out, sunset flip and gets the pin.

WINNER and NEW CHAMP: Axis pin -> 9:20 mins. ***

The whole locker room comes out to honor Axis winning the title as Diego is fuming grabbing stuff. Brett Gakiya who’s still limping has the mike, cause people won’t hush up so we can hear Brett talk, we BARELY hear that he was supposed to had been wrestling Diego, he still wants to have his title shot tonight. Axis hands the belt off and they call for the bell!

HPW Heavyweight Championship
(c)Axis vs. Brett Gakiya – Well let’s see how this goes. Axis with a takedown, Brett with a snapmare & armdrag, Axis with a clothesline and dropkick. Brett with a flying knee gets two. Brett with a chop, springboard reverse DDT gets two. Axis with the knee jammer, but Brett manages to land a kick to the head. Axis goes for the tilt, Brett escapes with an armdrag, headscissors…but Axis with the butterfly stomp, hanging ankle lock, into a ground ankle lock and Brett taps.

WINNER and STILL CHAMP: Axis submission -> 3:45 mins. *½

Kept short. But Axis says he wants to wrestle him again at the next HPW show when he’s at 100%. So the match is made for the next show. Of course they tag team the next day in NGW.

As for the tag tournament, based on the order of the matches, I'm guessing round two is MVP & Black Dragon vs. Wrestling Redefined and Windy City Wrecking Crew vs. The War Pigs. The War Pigs seem heavily favored to advance based on who I know are under those masks while it's a tossup in the other half of the bracket.

The Verdict: We had a total of eleven matches tonight. Nothing stunk but nothing stood out either. I didn’t see anything in this show that would get people talking for weeks and weeks to come, except maybe for Harker Dirge’s injury who’s sure to be affected by it for quite a while. Title change in the main event, but I dunno what makes it different than others.

Thumbs in the middle.