rap_sheet (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} rap_sheet) wrote,@ 2006-03-29 20:23:00 |
|
The Rap Sheet - PWI in Lincoln, IL on 3/25
The Rap Sheet - from the Mad Conservative
Powerhouse Wrestling Inc.
3/25/2K6 Lincoln, IL
The views expressed by the critics of the Mad Conservative are definitely not my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Rap Sheet Dossier at http://rap-sheet.tripod.com or the St. Louis Wrestling Community at http://stlwrestling.livejournal.com
The entire roster comes out for a ten bell tolling for a fallen friend, the wrestler known only as "Bane" as he died earlier in the week and the funeral was held this same day. Tim Lyle gives the eulogy.
Live from the Lincoln College Gymnasium. Your ring announcer is Vincent Stone. Attendance was between 140-150 by my count. The kids in my section are screaming so loud I can’t hear a thing.
Magnum Conroy, Jeff King, and Jimmy Shalwin come out first. King is wearing a fanny pack of all things! And he looks like a toothpick. King has the mike, and he sounds more like Hulk Hogan…as opposed to an old-timer. He’s ranting about pigs, and the kids are cussing up a storm at him. Conroy states if he wins the battle royal he won’t have to defend it.
19-Man Battle Royal
Participants are: Remy Raines, Rudo Cortez, Magnum Conway, Jimmy Shalwin, Jeff King, Tony Rican, Boy Toy Bryan, Botch, Beast, Frankie the Face, Great Malaki, Osiris, Mike Horning, Alto the Great, Tim Lyle, Matty Montcalm, Jason Hades and two others I had no names for--one guy in a multi-colored outfit, and another guy with long red hair. Someone puts their stuff on the ringside table, and it FALLS APART! Heh, what a crappy table. The fight begins, everyone slugs it out, the guy with long red hair is dumped out (Andrew MacLeod?), Magnum Conroy is ALSO eliminated, Osiris is dumped out, now they’re going after the Beast and he’s out! Conroy gets POSTED by the Beast! Rudo is in a chopping contest with Remy Raines, Alto gets back dropped out by Frankie! Frankie backdrops someone else in black and silver. Jeff King almost eliminates someone. Jason Hades gets dumped out at 2:52 by Remy Raines. Rudo goes to the top but gets knocked down. Mike Horning is tossed. Tim Lyle dumps the one in the goofy multi-colored outfit, I hear this might be Gary the Freak. Lyle and King slug it out. Rudo throws out Botch! Tim Lyle gets dumped by Shalwin & King. Rudo is slugging it out with someone. Jeff King gets thrown out, Shalwin misses the clothesline, King tries to help illegally. Rudo has an iron claw on Frankie! Jeff King on the apron, pulls down the rope and Matty Montcalm goes out. Rudo fights Shalwin in the corner, and throws him out at 5:50. Frankie goes after Rudo, uppercut, off the ropes but gets dropkicked and he flies out…and it’s over! I don't rate battle royals in general.
WINNER: Rudo Cortez -> 6:15 mins. N/A
"Picture Perfect" Remy Raines vs. Tony Rican - They spend quite a bit of time doing a posedown. Remy shoves Rican down, armdrag, hip toss. Rican hits a trio and Remy runs off, Rican slingshots him in and goes to work on the arm. Remy yanks him by the hair, works the leg, suplex gets two. Rican slugs away, baseball slide and trip, missile dropkick connects for two. Spinebuster Remy gets two. Sunset flip dropkick Rican, goes for a tornado DDT, but Remy reverses for a northern lights suplex for two. Remy goes for a powerbomb, but Rican rolls him for two. Twisting flatliner I'm guessing from Remy, goes up, frogsplash, does a stupid backside cover for two but gets rolled up for three. Moron. He tries to save face claiming Rican cheated so he’s still undefeated. Yeah sure, you’re still a LOSER.
WINNER: Tony Rican pin -> 9 mins. **¾
Boy Toy Bryan vs. Botch - For some reason or another Bryan yanks the notebook out of my lap and throws it on the floor. I thought he was gonna rip it in half and I'm up after him, arrrgh. Botch has on one scary outfit. Bryan tries to clothesline Botch but it has no effect. So Botch clobbers him and Bryan goes to sit in the front row, then goes and sits on the stage. Bryan wants to shake hands, but Botch squeezes it and armdrags him over his shoulder. Bryan comes up with a DDT, then does a wheelbarrow bulldog. Standing choke, Bryan does a whip but Botch reverses and charges but MISSES, Bryan dropkicks him. Botch catches one of Bryan's kicks and twists the ankle before standing on his back. Bryan with a LOW BLOW, hurraconrannas Botch off the top, goes back up to do a moonsault...but MISSES! Botch up, powerbomb...goodbye! Someone claimed I was bashing this match, no...not true.
WINNER: Botch -> 5 mins. **
PWI Heavyweight Championship
(c)Magnum Conroy vs. The Beast - Conroy has King & Shalwin with him, but the kids around me are screaming "toothpick" at King. Stallfest to start, armbar Beast. Clothesline Conroy, choke, nerve hold, bearhug. Commissioner Skip gets mad, as Shalwin & King keep bugging him. Belly-to-belly suplex Conroy for two. Chokehold, Shalwin & King take some cheap shots, Conroy sits on him and applies a rear chinlock. Conroy with a headbutt to the groin, manages a suplex, goes back to the bearhug. Beast slugs his way out of it for two, Conroy is whipped to the corner, referee Steve Cain gets in the same corner...Beast charges and sandwiches the ref...like I didn't see that telegraphed. Shalwin jumps in with a chairshot, Conway pins him. Didn't care for this at all, the heckling was more interesting than the action...or lack of it.
WINNER and STILL CHAMP: Magnum Conroy pin -> 10:10 mins. *
Rudo Cortez and Tim Lyle run out to stop the beatdown afterward. Lyle scolds the three, calling them the new Spice Girls, and issuing a challenge to wrestle Shalwin & King by himself! (Cause of the noise in the place, I originally thought they were setting up an six or eight man tag with everyone who was out here). An autograph photo selling contest ensues after this between the parties, but they don't say who sold more. Commissioner Skip has to be helped to the back, he got a little too excited wanting to fight everyone. It's intermission time, and I make my feelings known holding a sign that says "Tim Lyle fears everyone south of I-80". That's because I believe they aren't looking at anyone in downstate Illinois or Missouri. Anyway, something will have to be done to improve the reputation of the region as it's currently not held in high regard for whatever reason.
Frankie the Face & The Great Malaki vs. Osiris & Rudo Cortez - Rudo & Malaki start. Malaki goes after the arm, Rudo clotheslines him, hip toss. Frank in, all four jump in, double whip double slams. Malaki is clotheslined out. Rudo pulls him back in, does a standing delayed release suplex and tags Osiris. He chops away and suplexs him for two. Malaki kick, armbar, tag, double whip double elbows get two. Frank powerslam gets two. Illegal switch, Malaki sits on Osiris, clothesline two. Frankie the Heel tags and beats him down for two. Frankie slams him, Malaki does a second rope moonsault...but overshoots, he drops an elbow for two. Frankie in, goes for a backdrop but gets dropkicked in the head! Yeek, that looked awkward. Rudo tagged in, he beats the crap outta both men, Rudo with a ten punch in the corner, Osiris pounds the other man. Double whip and the heels crash in the middle, Malaki is dumped out, bearhug slam by Rudo, Osiris with a legdrop from the top on Frankie gets the pin.
WINNERS: Rudo Cortez & Osiris pin -> 9:20 mins. **½
"Golden Boy" Mike Horning vs. Alto the Great - Hmmm...Alto, I saw him in action last weekend. Wheelbarrow armdrag Alto. Northern lights suplex by Mike. Wristlock springboard DDT by Alto. Horning bails out, Alto with the slingshot into a reverse DDT. Springboard off the ropes by Alto is met with a dropkick by Horning. Knee to the gut, suplex, another knee from Horning gets two. Crusifix Alto gets two. Rib breaker Mike gets two. Alto kicks the leg, tries for a reverse hurraconranna but gets no rotation and both hit the mat. Horning rolls out, Alto with a twising suicide dive and they hit the floor with a thud. Where's the padding out there? I dunno how much he connected. Alto is up, goes up top, Horning trips him, slugfest on the ropes, Horning falls down, Alto does the 450 splash but MISSES! Horning goes up, frogsplash HITS for the pin. Match of the night.
WINNER: "Golden Boy" Mike Horning pin -> 9:15 mins. ***½
Handicap Match
"The Hype" Jimmy Shalwin & "Old Timer" Jeff King vs. Dr. Tim Lyle - It was supposed to be Eric Freedom tagging with Lyle tonight but he's a no-show. Yet, Lyle didn't pick another tag partner, despite the availability of at least four guys who didn't have a regular match tonight. I think King needs to try different gear, he looks REALLY DORKY in what he's wearing now. "Spice Girl" chant rages. Hype starts with Lyle, did I type that? Lyle works the arm and swings him around the ring, LOW BLOW, Lyle grabs the Hype by the nose, King runs in but he gets grabbed by the nose and their heads are rammed together. Lyle fires the headbutts, goes after King on the floor and slams him. Hype attacks Lyle on reentry, legdrop gets two. Tag King, knee chokes on the rope, ram in the corners, headbutt. Tag Hype, he fires a knee that looked like it didn't connect, backbreaker, tag King. He stupidly tries a bearbug but gets belly to belly slammed for two. Hype with a knee, tags in, elbow, corner ram, snap mare, crossarm breaker, then shifts to a sleeper. Lyle gets out of it, but Hype hits a knee for two. Tag King, rear headlock, tag Hype, chokeslam. The Hype climbs the ropes, but for some reason Jeff King is trying to talk him out of it, Hype goes up anyway, tries a moonsault but gets NOTHING. Lyle pounds both men, whip each to the corner and they flop to the mat in a stack. Lyle with a powerslam on King and here comes Magnum Conroy. Shalwin slugs Lyle in the face, heels double whip double clothesline Lyle. BOOT on Shalwin, pickup, Conroy jumps on the apron, the fanny pack is fetched by King and he blasts Lyle with it, cover gets the pin. What the heck was in that thing? A chain?
WINNERS: Jeff King & Jimmy Shalwin pin -> 11:15 mins. ***
Chairs are tossed in the ring, crowd craps on the three of them, Matty Montcalm runs out to attack the bad guys with chair wielded. Lyle grabs a chair and the baddies bail. More challenges are issued for the 4/22 show and we're done.
The Verdict: Pretty much an average show overall, and over sooner than one would expect. Since there were a few guys that didn't have a regular match they could had added an extra bout or two and still finish by ten. Lets say I expected a bit more.
Thumbs leaning up.
The Rap Sheet - from the Mad Conservative
Powerhouse Wrestling Inc.
3/25/2K6 Lincoln, IL
The views expressed by the critics of the Mad Conservative are definitely not my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Rap Sheet Dossier at http://rap-sheet.tripod.com or the St. Louis Wrestling Community at http://stlwrestling.livejournal.com
The entire roster comes out for a ten bell tolling for a fallen friend, the wrestler known only as "Bane" as he died earlier in the week and the funeral was held this same day. Tim Lyle gives the eulogy.
Live from the Lincoln College Gymnasium. Your ring announcer is Vincent Stone. Attendance was between 140-150 by my count. The kids in my section are screaming so loud I can’t hear a thing.
Magnum Conroy, Jeff King, and Jimmy Shalwin come out first. King is wearing a fanny pack of all things! And he looks like a toothpick. King has the mike, and he sounds more like Hulk Hogan…as opposed to an old-timer. He’s ranting about pigs, and the kids are cussing up a storm at him. Conroy states if he wins the battle royal he won’t have to defend it.
19-Man Battle Royal
Participants are: Remy Raines, Rudo Cortez, Magnum Conway, Jimmy Shalwin, Jeff King, Tony Rican, Boy Toy Bryan, Botch, Beast, Frankie the Face, Great Malaki, Osiris, Mike Horning, Alto the Great, Tim Lyle, Matty Montcalm, Jason Hades and two others I had no names for--one guy in a multi-colored outfit, and another guy with long red hair. Someone puts their stuff on the ringside table, and it FALLS APART! Heh, what a crappy table. The fight begins, everyone slugs it out, the guy with long red hair is dumped out (Andrew MacLeod?), Magnum Conroy is ALSO eliminated, Osiris is dumped out, now they’re going after the Beast and he’s out! Conroy gets POSTED by the Beast! Rudo is in a chopping contest with Remy Raines, Alto gets back dropped out by Frankie! Frankie backdrops someone else in black and silver. Jeff King almost eliminates someone. Jason Hades gets dumped out at 2:52 by Remy Raines. Rudo goes to the top but gets knocked down. Mike Horning is tossed. Tim Lyle dumps the one in the goofy multi-colored outfit, I hear this might be Gary the Freak. Lyle and King slug it out. Rudo throws out Botch! Tim Lyle gets dumped by Shalwin & King. Rudo is slugging it out with someone. Jeff King gets thrown out, Shalwin misses the clothesline, King tries to help illegally. Rudo has an iron claw on Frankie! Jeff King on the apron, pulls down the rope and Matty Montcalm goes out. Rudo fights Shalwin in the corner, and throws him out at 5:50. Frankie goes after Rudo, uppercut, off the ropes but gets dropkicked and he flies out…and it’s over! I don't rate battle royals in general.
WINNER: Rudo Cortez -> 6:15 mins. N/A
"Picture Perfect" Remy Raines vs. Tony Rican - They spend quite a bit of time doing a posedown. Remy shoves Rican down, armdrag, hip toss. Rican hits a trio and Remy runs off, Rican slingshots him in and goes to work on the arm. Remy yanks him by the hair, works the leg, suplex gets two. Rican slugs away, baseball slide and trip, missile dropkick connects for two. Spinebuster Remy gets two. Sunset flip dropkick Rican, goes for a tornado DDT, but Remy reverses for a northern lights suplex for two. Remy goes for a powerbomb, but Rican rolls him for two. Twisting flatliner I'm guessing from Remy, goes up, frogsplash, does a stupid backside cover for two but gets rolled up for three. Moron. He tries to save face claiming Rican cheated so he’s still undefeated. Yeah sure, you’re still a LOSER.
WINNER: Tony Rican pin -> 9 mins. **¾
Boy Toy Bryan vs. Botch - For some reason or another Bryan yanks the notebook out of my lap and throws it on the floor. I thought he was gonna rip it in half and I'm up after him, arrrgh. Botch has on one scary outfit. Bryan tries to clothesline Botch but it has no effect. So Botch clobbers him and Bryan goes to sit in the front row, then goes and sits on the stage. Bryan wants to shake hands, but Botch squeezes it and armdrags him over his shoulder. Bryan comes up with a DDT, then does a wheelbarrow bulldog. Standing choke, Bryan does a whip but Botch reverses and charges but MISSES, Bryan dropkicks him. Botch catches one of Bryan's kicks and twists the ankle before standing on his back. Bryan with a LOW BLOW, hurraconrannas Botch off the top, goes back up to do a moonsault...but MISSES! Botch up, powerbomb...goodbye! Someone claimed I was bashing this match, no...not true.
WINNER: Botch -> 5 mins. **
PWI Heavyweight Championship
(c)Magnum Conroy vs. The Beast - Conroy has King & Shalwin with him, but the kids around me are screaming "toothpick" at King. Stallfest to start, armbar Beast. Clothesline Conroy, choke, nerve hold, bearhug. Commissioner Skip gets mad, as Shalwin & King keep bugging him. Belly-to-belly suplex Conroy for two. Chokehold, Shalwin & King take some cheap shots, Conroy sits on him and applies a rear chinlock. Conroy with a headbutt to the groin, manages a suplex, goes back to the bearhug. Beast slugs his way out of it for two, Conroy is whipped to the corner, referee Steve Cain gets in the same corner...Beast charges and sandwiches the ref...like I didn't see that telegraphed. Shalwin jumps in with a chairshot, Conway pins him. Didn't care for this at all, the heckling was more interesting than the action...or lack of it.
WINNER and STILL CHAMP: Magnum Conroy pin -> 10:10 mins. *
Rudo Cortez and Tim Lyle run out to stop the beatdown afterward. Lyle scolds the three, calling them the new Spice Girls, and issuing a challenge to wrestle Shalwin & King by himself! (Cause of the noise in the place, I originally thought they were setting up an six or eight man tag with everyone who was out here). An autograph photo selling contest ensues after this between the parties, but they don't say who sold more. Commissioner Skip has to be helped to the back, he got a little too excited wanting to fight everyone. It's intermission time, and I make my feelings known holding a sign that says "Tim Lyle fears everyone south of I-80". That's because I believe they aren't looking at anyone in downstate Illinois or Missouri. Anyway, something will have to be done to improve the reputation of the region as it's currently not held in high regard for whatever reason.
Frankie the Face & The Great Malaki vs. Osiris & Rudo Cortez - Rudo & Malaki start. Malaki goes after the arm, Rudo clotheslines him, hip toss. Frank in, all four jump in, double whip double slams. Malaki is clotheslined out. Rudo pulls him back in, does a standing delayed release suplex and tags Osiris. He chops away and suplexs him for two. Malaki kick, armbar, tag, double whip double elbows get two. Frank powerslam gets two. Illegal switch, Malaki sits on Osiris, clothesline two. Frankie the Heel tags and beats him down for two. Frankie slams him, Malaki does a second rope moonsault...but overshoots, he drops an elbow for two. Frankie in, goes for a backdrop but gets dropkicked in the head! Yeek, that looked awkward. Rudo tagged in, he beats the crap outta both men, Rudo with a ten punch in the corner, Osiris pounds the other man. Double whip and the heels crash in the middle, Malaki is dumped out, bearhug slam by Rudo, Osiris with a legdrop from the top on Frankie gets the pin.
WINNERS: Rudo Cortez & Osiris pin -> 9:20 mins. **½
"Golden Boy" Mike Horning vs. Alto the Great - Hmmm...Alto, I saw him in action last weekend. Wheelbarrow armdrag Alto. Northern lights suplex by Mike. Wristlock springboard DDT by Alto. Horning bails out, Alto with the slingshot into a reverse DDT. Springboard off the ropes by Alto is met with a dropkick by Horning. Knee to the gut, suplex, another knee from Horning gets two. Crusifix Alto gets two. Rib breaker Mike gets two. Alto kicks the leg, tries for a reverse hurraconranna but gets no rotation and both hit the mat. Horning rolls out, Alto with a twising suicide dive and they hit the floor with a thud. Where's the padding out there? I dunno how much he connected. Alto is up, goes up top, Horning trips him, slugfest on the ropes, Horning falls down, Alto does the 450 splash but MISSES! Horning goes up, frogsplash HITS for the pin. Match of the night.
WINNER: "Golden Boy" Mike Horning pin -> 9:15 mins. ***½
Handicap Match
"The Hype" Jimmy Shalwin & "Old Timer" Jeff King vs. Dr. Tim Lyle - It was supposed to be Eric Freedom tagging with Lyle tonight but he's a no-show. Yet, Lyle didn't pick another tag partner, despite the availability of at least four guys who didn't have a regular match tonight. I think King needs to try different gear, he looks REALLY DORKY in what he's wearing now. "Spice Girl" chant rages. Hype starts with Lyle, did I type that? Lyle works the arm and swings him around the ring, LOW BLOW, Lyle grabs the Hype by the nose, King runs in but he gets grabbed by the nose and their heads are rammed together. Lyle fires the headbutts, goes after King on the floor and slams him. Hype attacks Lyle on reentry, legdrop gets two. Tag King, knee chokes on the rope, ram in the corners, headbutt. Tag Hype, he fires a knee that looked like it didn't connect, backbreaker, tag King. He stupidly tries a bearbug but gets belly to belly slammed for two. Hype with a knee, tags in, elbow, corner ram, snap mare, crossarm breaker, then shifts to a sleeper. Lyle gets out of it, but Hype hits a knee for two. Tag King, rear headlock, tag Hype, chokeslam. The Hype climbs the ropes, but for some reason Jeff King is trying to talk him out of it, Hype goes up anyway, tries a moonsault but gets NOTHING. Lyle pounds both men, whip each to the corner and they flop to the mat in a stack. Lyle with a powerslam on King and here comes Magnum Conroy. Shalwin slugs Lyle in the face, heels double whip double clothesline Lyle. BOOT on Shalwin, pickup, Conroy jumps on the apron, the fanny pack is fetched by King and he blasts Lyle with it, cover gets the pin. What the heck was in that thing? A chain?
WINNERS: Jeff King & Jimmy Shalwin pin -> 11:15 mins. ***
Chairs are tossed in the ring, crowd craps on the three of them, Matty Montcalm runs out to attack the bad guys with chair wielded. Lyle grabs a chair and the baddies bail. More challenges are issued for the 4/22 show and we're done.
The Verdict: Pretty much an average show overall, and over sooner than one would expect. Since there were a few guys that didn't have a regular match they could had added an extra bout or two and still finish by ten. Lets say I expected a bit more.
Thumbs leaning up.
